How-To: Make the Most of Falling Into a Black Hole

Rob Williams

Editor-in-Chief
Staff member
Moderator
From our front-page news:
So, you want to know how to survive a fall into a black hole? Well, you're in for a sad reality, because unless you are somehow able to go faster than the speed of light, it's impossible to escape. Impossible as in impossible, not impossible as in "It's impossible to get ten kills in Call of Duty 4 without dying!"... yes, it's that impossible.

As Universe Today points out, your demise doesn't have to be entirely quick. If you happen upon a massive black hole, then you could apparently survive for a few hours. It's the small black holes that will hit you before you even blink... you will be dissolved in a few billionths of a second. Quick and painless has a new meaning...

Hitting a large black hole seems like the ultimate definition of hell, though. Due to extreme gravitational differences as you fall towards singularity, your head and toes will both be suffering a different pull, essentially resulting in you becoming an insane version of Stretch Armstrong. At the end of this 'spaghettification' process, you'll be nothing more than a line of atoms.

I think I'll stick to the small black holes...

black_hole_091108.jpg

At the moment, these recommendations are available only with the usual 30-second preview, but it seems like just a short hop to get to a full streaming, subscription-based approach, living in parallel with the pay-per-song approach Apple has successfully used so far. Rumors have been around for ages that Apple will introduce a subscription service, and the Genius Sidebar seems like a simple way to step into that approach.


Source: Universe Today
 

Kougar

Techgage Staff
Staff member
Thanks for the laugh! I think they forgot to mention a human body would be ripped to shreds before they technically even "fell" into the hole though... Super-massive black holes are much more interesting. :)

Is it me or is Apple experimenting with singularity devices again? No wonder they named it the Genius Sidebar... :D
 

Rob Williams

Editor-in-Chief
Staff member
Moderator
I agree... massive black holes would definitely be my choice if I had to die in one. I also somehow screwed up the quote in that news post, but fixed it on the main page.

Haha, Apple doesn't need a black hole, their egos swallow them whole as it is.
 

Kougar

Techgage Staff
Staff member
Oddly while I would agree, their egos have been defying the laws of physics for quite awhile... ;)
 

Merlin

The Tech Wizard
As a two time black hole survivor I would like to thank my friends for the support they gave.
Divorce is a black hole that it hard to survive.
Oh wait, I guess you are talking about something else :eek:)
 
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